I feel so sad today...

I went to find the shoes i needed.. i went ang mo kio.. no find.. then went sembawang.. no find.. then went woodlands.. no find.. finally go back to khatib.. have! But dun have my size.. So sad... Dun tell me i really need to go queenstown just to get a pair of shoes that are my size? I think my feet size is average american feet size.. I improved alot in Dnb these past few days.. So much that i completely feel that i know how to dance dnb.. Maybe waiting for the oven to heat up in DnT cause me to become better at DnB? =D

Oh yeah.. BTW.. IF ANYBODY THINKS IM DOING THIS TO IMPRESS... Then don't say it out.. I do things to express not to impress.. They are two different things.. BTW, my dance and my steps are also not good enough to impress anybody.. And second thing.. I dun give a shit about what others think of my dance or what i like to do.. I dun give a shit about what others think is socially correct to do.. I may dance at any place i wish in any way i wish. There isn't a rule saying i can't do things in public. When i do the dance.. I am not causing a nuisance am i? Im not swinging my arms around whacking people... Im not kicking people in the face.. And definitely not screaming.. So.. IS there something wrong with listening to hard house or electro? or anything that is electrical? IT is not a genre only gangsters can listen to or do.. It is my lifestyle.. Whether you like it or not.. Im not gonna change myself just because everybody is not used to the things i do.. Because i seriously dun give a shit.

anyway.. on to the weird stuff...  I need people who can act or willing to act.  Gender does not matter, age also dun matter. I just need somebody who is easy for me to work with.

Ok.. I feel very tired right now.. so im not saying anythhing more.. adios.

Back again....

I realised that the feeling of care came back.. again.. i have to admit that i was pretty uncaring these past few months.. maybe cos got too much problems? or.. i feel moody the whole 2-4 months? Anyway, i just have to say im sorry if i appeared too fierce that im flagged as scary.. or that i haven't talked to you for a long time (whoever you are.) its just that i faced a ton of problems then and i didn't want anybody to worry.. because only i worry for others.. not others worry for me.. because im Jason.. Why? Just because I am. =D

Anyway.. I went ChinaTown just now to search for some Warrior shoes that are my size.. In case you've had no idea what a warrior shoe is.. well.. it is those shoes with the red marking that is quite common nowadays... But the terrible thing is.. When i didn't like those shoes.. There were tons of them.. Now.. when i need them the most.. There is next to to Zero.. I can't find any.. i need some! Cos my other pair of warrior shoes which i use for parkour is quickly wearing out.. These few days we had classes on the ground floor.. because shirree fractured her leg trying to jump from the second floor i think? maybe one and a half floor? That's where jacob jump from if i remember.. Jacob can do amazing stuff without hurting himself.. Im gonna take a year before i can jump that height safely.. cos right now.. my body weight is already putting strain on my knees. jumping from a height taller than 2 m is dangerous.. right now... Though i got heavy bone.. I'll rather not suffer the failure.. for now..

Contrary to popular beliefs.. Parkour is not a sport that is meant to show off... like the chinese translation of parkour.. (they call it Pao Ku which literally means, Run Cool) Free running is the expression of movement. While parkour is the movement itself.. Even free-runners do the flips not to show off.. They express themselves in order to inspire others to break out of the mould the system bound us in. someday i'll express myself in my way to inspire others to do it their way.

Just now at chinatown.. took abit of photos.. Here's some. And also some photos from the trip to jelutung harbor park at sembawang.. The location where we train.

the ones from jelutung harbor park too big liao.. so nvm..

In life, we have choices

Sometimes we have none. Sometimes its fated. But it wont be if you don't believe in fate. I for instance, chose not to fall. I want to make my mark in society, but in a way that it will stay alive in people's hearts. I want to inspire people to be people who believe they have the power of the mind. To control what they can do and what they will do, just with the power of the mind. I train Parkour, I train my mind. Inspiring others not to make them do the same as i did, instead, inspiring others to make them do what only they will do. That is my dream.

Even a simple thing such as this: Smile <<Highlight!

Can influence others to be happy.

I do what i want, because i want others to do what THEY want. =D

Ave Mari~~~~a... I love to sing this song..

Though i do not understand fully what the lyrics in latin means.. I guess it is a prayer.. I love to sing this song in low pitch then followed by super high pitch.. Once i tried it in the toilet.. Some guys when to the toilet to see if it was a girl... =DD IT was damn funnay... They were like.. O_O? I guess my vocal range can be quite low and quite high.. or it simply just sounded like a pig being slaughtered.... anyway.. I realise im running out of words now.. So.. i'm gonna stop right here.... K im back. I stop right here and i started right there.. makes perfect sense huh? I realized that what i've been writing here has the sole purpose of making the future me remember the things that happened when i was young... Some may ask why is it that my blog post are mostly about random crazy stuffs.. well.. I do not want to lose myself in the course of becoming and adult.. I hope that this blog will keep what remains the child within me when i become older.

Anyway today was random.. Ms xu was walking about the class in bare feet during lifeskills period.. Probably cause she is wearing high heels.. She was walking so awkwardly when she crossed the parade square.. Anybody who know Ms Xu noes that she usually walks damn fast.. unless she is wearing high heels or her feets hurt..

Today matin sat beside me.. And i joked with him about some stuff.. mostly lame stuff... I was so bored that i took a tissue paper and stuck on my moustache.. then i told matin.. that "This is the Akmal!" Then i turned the paper the other way and stuck it on my chin.. then i told him that "This is the REVERSE AKMAL!" Then i made a goatee out of it and i stuck it on my face.. Then i told him.. you guessed it right! "This is the GOATEE AKMAL!" I succeeded in making him laugh though.. Im gonna make it a point to make somebody happy or laugh everyday..


I realised that true happiness does not come from laughing at somebody's joke... It comes from making other laugh because of your jokes.. It makes me feel so happy to see others laugh heartily.. ._. weird huh?

I've also realised that many people in the class see me as quiet and shy.. Well.. On the contrary.. im pretty sure if they know me well enough.. I can be quite the opposite.. just ask ariel or sam.

I've got two passion. One is Filmmaking, The other is acting. Though i noe that my acting may not be the best.. I find joy in portraying a character who is radically different from me.. It allows me to experience a life i've never thought of before and it also makes me think more about this kind of people.. Like when i acted as Shades in the Brothers Part 1.. What came to my mind was that shades is a friggin cunning man who will stop at nothing to achieve his wants.. But what made him like that that he had to kill his own brother? well i envisioned him as having a reason for his action... He had to kill his brother so that he could take the seat of the mafia boss.. true.. But he had another reason. He knew that being a mafia boss is dangerous.. So in order to prevent his brother from suffering (due to his position as a mafia boss, life being threatened every second; on the run from the law.) he decides to kill him himself.. His love for his brother make perfectly no sense.. Ok.. Come to think of it.. I wasn't using the left side of my brain.. hell i ain't even using either.. =D

anyway


A Poem.. HHA im just joking..

======================================

Inspire.

I've always inspired to be a powerful and noble man.

I've always inspired to be one.

Despite all the struggles that came before me.

I seek to be one.

I am inspired to seek, seek to inspire. 

That is why i took up Parkour.

To inspire others.

To live a life.

Free from the system of society.

Free from the blades of the rotor.

That sucks you in and drains you rot. 

To Parkour, Is to Inspire. To Inspire is to live. 

Parkour is my Life.

==================================

IMMA FRIGGIN MACHINE GUN! BAMBAMBAMBAM!

OH YEAH! IM AS EXCITED AS A FRIGGIN MACHINE GATLING MAXIM FHM GUN!.. I think FHM isn't a gun.. BUT SURE IT MAKES YOU EXCITED.. Nah im just joking.. Im not High On Ricola Newton Yoghourt.. FTW... It taste great.. What's a Ricola Newton Yoghurt? Well.. Its.. Plain Yoghurt with Ricola as topping.. Then you drop it from a height straight into your mouth.. that's where Newton comes in.. Anyway.. What i was trying to say is.. Im a little bit crazy.. little bit horny.. little bit sot.. little bit emo.. little bit angry... but... mostly a bulk of EGGCITEDNESS! Cos.. Today i attempted something i never dreamt i could do... A lazy vault.. On both hands!! Oh my holy duck! I can do it! It may not seem much to you.. but it is really awesome for me.. I know this blog post.. sounds really really really really really really and really.. and that's 8 reallys including this one.. long winded.. But what you expect? Im Jason de rulo.. It also sounds alittle bit weird huh.. The previous blog post you see me.. Looking down on the floor.. Now im looking at the ceiling.. and i dun really noe what i typingh niw... yah noe? anyway..





BAM! SCARED YOU! HAHAHA........


HATE YOU GUYS... no really i love you guys...

Anyway.. Why i say IMMA MACHINE GUN! Is because... of this!

You know what i really want you to do right now? I want you to RAISE YOUR HANDS UP IN THE AIR AND WAVE IT LIKE YOU DUN CARE! but no.. I dun wan you to do that.. so... KEEP ON DOING THAT... Wait no.. Im going a bit conky.. What i really want You to do.... Is *HIGHLIGHT THIS THING WITH YOU MOUSE >>>>>> Smile =D<<<<<<* See.. Its easy.. If you don't smile.. Im gonna be really sad...

Anyway i dedicate this song to all the mamas in this world..

Vitas - Mama

Feel free to sing along.. The English translation is below...

"Mama(translated by Natalie)

Forgive me, my dear, for parting with you (Prosti Rodnaia, Za Razluku)
For my occasional letters                          (Za pisma redkie moi)
In my thoughts I kiss your hand                 (Ia Muislenno Tebe Tseluiu Ruku)
And your tightly pressed lips                      (I Gubi Sjvate Tvoi)

I often cry when I remember
How I used to hurt you at times
Forgive me, my dear!
Forgive me with love for the last time
How much I failed to understand...
And I still have to understand so much!
It seems that I loved too little
If I failed to experience love...

Forgive me, my dear, for parting with you
For my occasional letters
In my thoughts I kiss your hand
And your tightly pressed lips

Your love is love without measure
Your hopes and dreams...
Forgive me for my impertinent manners
Which upset you so much
Now I know more about life
I managed to understand a lot of things
I remember all your care
Longing to embrace you.

Forgive me, my dear, for parting with you
For my occasional letters
In my thoughts I kiss your hand
And your tightly pressed lips"

I can't believe i came back...

After so long.. I realized that i had changed so much.. i lost a great number of my friends during this period.. I sort of avoided them.. for no reason... I ignored.. for no reason... I felt so sad... that i am abandoned.. wrecked.. and broken.. like a toy.. mangled with and thrown out the window.. It had felt such a long time since i was able to talk freely with anyone.. Perhaps i've lost my soul for a very long time.. only recently did i have it back.. The nostalgia of loving somebody again.. Perhaps many people know about it. Perhaps she knew about it. But that's not gonna change anything.. Im gonna sit right here and wait for a sign from god to tell me.. to either get a move on.. or make my move. If it is not fated.. I'm gonna make it a fate... But if it was not intended.. then i'll shall not try.. Everyday.. I long for someone to talk to about my problems.. not just my friends.. but somebody who is not so close with me.. yet wishes to listen to what i have to say.. Perhaps im wishing for the stars.

Anyway the holiday was terrible.. But all we did was Parkour and Jumpstyle. It was really fun to do Parkour though.. But not so fun when you get hurt.
I was so happy that another person in the class except Me and Fiz is practicing parkour.. It was such a big surprise.. I wanted to invite this person (whom i shall not name) to train with us.. But we never managed too.. We did however indoctrinate some of our close friends into the way of the movement though.. like Jacob and Permyod (i guess?)

I realized that im into extreme sports, just for the sheer thrill of falling down and getting hurt makes me wanna try that sport even more... weird... Anyway we did a small short film quite a while ago.. Situated at Jelutung Harbor Park.. A really charming place with lotsa obstacles to train on.. I could even spend my night sleeping there because of how peaceful the place is.. Its like the dream place.. Though i have to say it is quite a distance from shopping malls and facilities.

The video: Hundredth Plus

and our Jumpstyle origins video.. We first started jumping to this song. Jumped - Loituma jumpstyle.

and one more. Dnb Step or X-outing with my brother.. The weird dance or jumping you see me do at school is mostly this..

Also a short clip.. A sort of training video made to look.. well.. parkourish?

Someday we will become professional.

So close no matter how far...

Couldn't be much more from the heart.... 

Forever trust in who we are..

And nothing else matters...

Nothing else matters.

If only we could say. 

Nothing else matters. 

We are who we are.

We do what we like. 

We say what we like. 

Nothing else matters.

It would be great.

Oh yes it will be great!

But sadly, they'll come to a point when you'll break.

Things within you fall apart.

Your feelings crushed.

And now truly 

Nothing else matters.

Then you feel like you wanna die.

Not knowing that death is a relief to yourself.

But a grievance for others.

Can we not die? 

So we would not sin by hurting others?

Can we die?

So we would find our life's fulfillment? 

Now now. Nothing Else Matters.

Waddup guys,, nong nong time neber post oreday.

The past few months was quite a bore.. So boring that i stopped blogging entirely.. Or was it O level creeping up my back and strangling me with my tie? I think so.. Anyway.. Here is one big shout out to everyone who might be looking at this post.. This blog is nearly dead. I noe.. People no longer read this.. Nobody read this anymore.. Perhaps because i lost my goal ordy.. Perhaps i've lost the race.. This blog's true purpose was to record my every moment of thinking about her.. Perhaps she is one of the person i mentioned in this blog.. Perhaps i should come clean about it. But somehow shit happens, rumors spread, rejected, dejected, neglected. I lost my sense of direction, I lost my enthusiasm in recording down my love for the person.. I once posted nearly a few months ago.. That i will sustain this blog till the day i die.. Seems like my end came too early..

Anyway.. As the quote above says. I am out of love.. Out of poems.. Unless i feel the love again.. My poems are going nowhere.. Going out the window, Going into the drains, going high up into the sky.. Everywhere but to her. I noe.. People no longer read this.. Nobody read this anymore. Nonetheless, I'll continue sustaining this blog.. Till the day i die.. But don't expect anymore poems.. They would never ever come again. I guess my excitement in the blog blocks what i feel inside. This is a SHOUT OUT to the Future ME. Don't look back again.

I hope this blog becomes a record of my secondary 3 and secondary 4 lives, So that I'll be able to recount my life with detail when i am older..

I was pretty sure I am alone in this boat. The one who went on the boat with me went aboard.. Swimming away to another island when i stop talking.. When i became mute.. When i just could not speak to anybody anymore.. Except Fiz and WK..

Every morning.. Doing duty.. I found that i just could not open my mouth.. My mouth glued shut on its own.. I tried to be friends with some of the duty members.. But somehow.. I was alone.. In the dark. I could not understand what they say.. I felt so lonely during duty when nobody could talk to me.. When i could not talk to them.. When they speak.. The speak in a foreign tongue.. They are speaking English.. But they are talking about something that i just could not understand.. Strangely.. I think im falling to depression.. My white hair is growing out.. So much.. I didnt notice.. I thought that i am OK. Maybe i should give it all up and don't think about marrying until 10 years later...  I realised that i am making a big mistake.. I am not looking for a girlfriend. I am looking for a wife whom i'll take care of for many many many years to come.. Maybe i am too young to think about that..Maybe i am born in the right place at the wrong time.. Maybe i should be born 5 years earlier..

Anyway.. I realised that to rid myself of misery.. I must do something.. I think that to rid myself of misery, I'll have to first rid others of misery too.. So i think i'll post a cheer-up on people who seemed depressed.. Even people i dunno i guess.. The greatest care and concern i feel comes from a stranger.. Especially since the strangers do not know you and yet still gave you a hug when you really needed it.. If i post a cheer-up on other people's wall.. Will other people post a cheer-up on my wall?

Anyway.. Recently, Me and Hafiz had been learning a electro/techno dance called Jumpstyle.. It follows a average speed beat that is difficult to master at first.. But we mastered it in i month.. The basics though.. The rest.. Is difficult.. Anyway.. We have since progressed to Hardjump.. Which is a harder version of jumpstyle.. Though it looks great.. The beat is beast... The beat is as fast as strapping you to a horse and draggin you around on the floor.. Anyway.. A video of our jumping.






Also, a big thank you to the guys of 4C1, They told us to never stop jumping....


A word of encouragement to anyone who might need it..

Stubborn determination.

Even if others look at you and laugh heartily.. 

jut out your chin and give them a grin..

Even if others spread rumors about you and that boy.

Grab their collar and punch them in the face.

Even if others tries to ridicule you.

Walk over to them and say "Screw you." 

Even if others say you're gonna fail.

Show them how you win and spit in their face.

Victory comes from stubborn determination and idiotic will.

Never ever let peer pressure bog you down. 

If you like that guy or girl, then just go for him or her.

Don't be like me, wait for so long, only to have the rose in my hands withering away..

Hardjump:

Just a short hardjump practise video... Im scared that the neighbours may come up.. This does not even qualify to be Hardjump.. ._. To say the truth.. I wasnt used to my new sneakers.. So tight.. So difficult to move..