Can i cry.. really.. seriously.. for once.. can i cry?

I feel really sad todae.. I feel like im not seen or even noticed by anyone.. Is there something wrong with me? Is there some flaw on my character that i cant detect.. I noe i am sometimes a jerk.. I noe im sometimes insensitive.. I noe im friggin stubborn.. I noe i can hurt people sometimes.. I noe i may not do what i say.. I noe im indecisive.. I noe i am a fool.. Attempting things people never think of trying before.. I noe i may annoy some people.. But what can i do? I tried to solve this.. I noe im too talkative.. but i dun wanna seem like a emo guy.. If i dun tok.. nobody will care for me.. I'll fall deeper into the Rabbit Hole.. I noe of some people who thinks that im a hypocrite.. Some people think im a pretender.. some even think im a poser.. But what the hell did i do that make people think im such a person.. Did i like backstab anyone unknowingly? Did i like betray people? I only noe people betrayed me.. WHAT THE HELL DID I DO WRONG? I forgive people.. I truly forgive them.. But some people just think that i am a cunning motherF***ker.. yeah.. thats right.. I dunno why people hates me sometimes.. Im the saddest person in the whole world.. I dunno what i did wrong and i cannot solve what i did wrong.. I noe people are not perfect... But i dun wish to be like this forever.. I changed like how many times? A DOZEN TIMES! But no matter how i changed.. People would never accept me.. People would be thinking in their hearts.. what a hypocrite.. Call me paranoid..But why? Why? Why? Call me crazy.. maybe.. I guess i cant please everyone.. Im not a libra.. Im not a leo.. Im an aquarius.. I just cant fit in with anyone other than pisces..

Well.. I always thought of crying.. But when i try to cry.. No tears come.. Did my tears freeze up somehow? Where the hell did they go? Where the hell did my emotions go? I can feel sad.. But i cant cry it out.. People can kill me.. But i noe that this feeling is worst than being stabbed with a thousand knifes.. Feeling sad.. But not being able to cry it out.. I cant believe im suh a sad guy really.. When i try to make others happy.. I end up being truly... pathetic myself..

YAY!! EMO!!! WQOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!... I wrote whatever i wanted people to noe.. Now.. Lets have fun and tok about everything under the sun.. Yes.. Im beginning to make reference to each and everyone who is reading this blog: Hafiz, Wei Keong, Siti, Fuzzy (maybe) and Tin (maybe too) Because these people are those who will noe me inside out from the blog.. And because they care enough to look at my blog.. I appreciate that alot.. I MEAN ALOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well.. I think im gonna buy cargo pants later.. I dunno why... But i think having more than one pants is good when i wanna go out.. I look like an uncle hor Hafiz? Cargo pants may be outdated.. But they are comfy and they have that streetwear look.. i love streetwear.. Call me black cultured.. But i really love the comfy feel of baggy pants..

Well.. Well.. Well.. I went northpoint just now and i think i saw nazihah at KFC.. I heard her voice alright.. I can confirm it is her.. I think i saw some other friends too... Tmr gonna go filming with Hafiz (i hope) I wanna trying being one of the characters...

WEll.. I tell people to be happy.. But i am not a happy person.. I dunno why.. But i love to start a sentence with.. Well.. =DD Anyway.. I think i make people happy in order to be happy myself.. Atleast a little bit.. I try to make jokes that they will never laugh at.. Im bringing chocolates to school on mondae i think.. People who dares to tok to me will get a chocolate.. =D Seems like people dun dare to tok to me or dun bother.. =D

Ncc.. Gonna have a heritage trail again.. This time we are the ones organising. Going beach road man!! THE FOOD THERE IS LIKE.. THE REPRESENTATION OF SINGAPORE"S FINEST!! =D I wanna buy a book.. on Rifles.. It costs 17.90 and it has the rifles of the whole world.. I think i should buy handguns.. Since i wanna try modelling handguns in solidworks.. I think the book will help me in developing ideas of pistol.. Hell.. Maybe next time i'll become a gunsmith in singapore.. working for Cisco..

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Flowers.

Flowers are not beautiful..

Not yet..

Without the love of the gardener..

Flowers are not pretty..

not yet..

Without the warmth from the sun..

Love is not beautiful..

not yet..

When there is only one hand clapping..

Love is true blue pretty..

Only when it blooms between two love birds..

Birds of a feather, flock together.. How true is that.. Love flocks two together..

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Muahahah..once Siti ask me to whom are these poems or rather those blog post too.. Well.. I havent really answered that question.. These poems are to.... Somebody whom i will not meet until 10 yrs later.. =D