I WANNA BE A MAFIA MAN!

YES!! YOU READ THAT RIGHT! I WANNA BE A MAFIA MADE MAN! NOT CHINa MADE OR USA MADE.. ITS ITALIAN MAFIA MADE MAN!! OR ENFORCER.. THEN I"LL BECOME A CONSIGLIERE.. AN ADIVISOR TO THE BOSS!! WOOHOO!.. I GOT TO WALK AROUND IN A FANCY DARK SUIT AND CARRY GUNS.. AND EARN BIG MONEY!! HOW GOOd is that? Also included in the package is Sleeping with the Fishes.. AKA.. Getting shot up by twenty people while sitting in my Porsche..

Im gonna make myself an offer i cannot refuse.. Lets say.. If im a Don/Boss.. My name will be.. Don Valore.. Then Hafiz will be Don Fiando.. maybe then i'll be Don Varando.. But too bad.. The mafia only accepts people who are italian or sicilian..

 Me: How's life mister?
Mafia man: Nothing really.. Killing some guys with a shovel.. getting shot by some men in black.. chased around by police.. you noe.. the usual stuff..

I guess Mafia men really have the life anyone would want.

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Tears.

Seeing you live your life everyday..

Makes me happy..

Makes me desperate..

Makes me sad.. 

Makes me insane..

How i wish i could be there to make you happy.

How i wish i could stop being desperate and seperated.. 

How i wish i could just cry it out and shout it across the ocean.

I cant.. 

Cos i need you to do that for me.

You make me happy..

You stop me from feeling desperate..

You cry out my own feelings..

I have no more tears.. I didnt have them when i was rejected.. Three years..and 3 months ago.. 

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I dunno why sia.. Why am i writing this when i know this will make me sad.. maybe i really have no tears already..This is all true.. three years ago.. On that very day.. I COULD NEVER FORGET THE ANGER, HER FLUSTERED EXPRESSION AND HER CONFUSION.. ALL IN HER EYES.. Struck deep within me.. Staked through me.. With the words... "THIS IS RIDICULOUS! I DUN. EVEN. LIKE. HIM.!"  YEah yeah.. feel sad for me wont ya? But all this is past.. To say the truth.. I tot of just.. jump off the building when she said that.. I didnt.. and im still alive.. Im Still Alive.

EPIC JOURNAL!! MUAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAAH!! NYAHAHAHHAHAH!! -Faints-